Fallen Movie launched in the Philippines on November 2016. The first time I watched the movie trailer on youtube, Harrisson Gilbertson was the first reason why I had the interest to watch the movie. He have a very attractive looks. Then my second interest to watch is because of Cam and Luce scenes that made me addicted to watch it all over again. But before the third times of watching it I had the interest about the theme of the movie about the fallen angels, God and Lucifer.
My eldest sister taught me how to make ice candy before but the recipe that she taught was just ordinary recipe. So one day I was thinking if I could make a better and yummy ice candy. The recipe that I'm using now I didn’t learned it easily. I have some failures at first but I tried to make a simple experiment because I needed to improve my recipe for our daily needs.
I'm not good in business, to be honest… especially when it comes to having a little chat with the customer that I'm not comfortable to talk to because I'm so shy and I'm not patience. I get easily distracted and disappointed by rude customers. So I'm better online but it wasn’t successful because I don’t have enough capital and I have internet problem that time so I have no choice but to continue our ice candy product.
Though we are not successful in this kind of business, we are still selling it because it's like it's the trademark of our store that people knew that we have the yummiest and creamiest ice candy in our place. Our customers are keep coming back even if our competitors trying to beat us down by pulling them to buy to them not to ours. They are really competitive, thing I don’t do. Customer has their own freedom where they want to buy.
Here in my post, I would like to share my own recipe.
As a Pinay Blogger, I honestly need stable and fast internet connection without browsing, downloading and uploading limits. But I wasn’t that lucky to have that because first maybe our location is not yet that famous to be inserted by LTE Towers of Internet Providers but I don’t think that it’s one of the reason now because I discovered that we are already LTE covered. Second because of the Internet Provider’s Selfishness. That’s why I’ve been stocked into this situation in my life that I didn’t experienced what I expected from them after I spent money, time and trust. I stopped my writing hobby because of that issue.
I can blame them because I wasted my money. I feel hopeless to wait for their improvements because it will never come, that why I understand hackers. They can speed up our internet speed. In my own experience on applying to Globe Telecom Internet there was agents that cheated us twice. They didn’t care. They never done any actions to help me.
Dear LJC (Lord Jesus Christ),
As old times, first I want to thank you for my prayer granted. I don’t know if you mean it or you have a plan to that prayer to break me more because I realized who don’t give peace to those who disobey you. I know you want war and it’s always happen within me. I always say thank you even if sometimes it means “I hate you” but most of the times It means, “it’s okay, because I really deserve it.”
I don’t remember when was the last time I closed my eyes to pray. That’s why I wrote you a letter. I can’t give or show you faith. All I can show is my sinful soul.
My Father is not perfect, I admit. But I love him so much. He is a fighter, thing I didn’t inherited from him. His strength maybe comes from his faith spiritually, as a Pentecost. Although he stopped providing our needs financially because of an accident and issue between him and my mother, he never stopped connecting to me. They are separated and I lived with my mother, until now. Sometimes we visits our hometown. My intention to go there is to visit my father, that’s my only reason.
My memory with him is my treasure. When I was a kid and he’s still working at Golf in intramuros. He always go there with his bike. Every time he go home I always asking for 3 pesos coins, which he can give as long as he have money. On my birthdays he always give me an ice cream or cake. And when I was in high school I was able to buy him anything because I have enough earnings. We went to church in Guadalupe, before we go home I treated him in Jollibee. We ate Jollibee Chicken Joy worth 79 pesos each.
Many people changed because of pain, anger, heartbreaks, and failures. For me… pain sometimes is like an acid that kills you, sometimes it’s like a vitamin that energizes and motivates you. I learned that because I experienced that. That’s why I became a suicidal.
Although I’ve decided a balance decision because I chose to live, my decision still can change by any reason. Because my lifestyle, my situation and surroundings are still the same.
I don’t have yet what I wanted to be able to be strong and show my real colors but I have one power that no one can steal from me, my freedom. I’m free to make a choice.
Negativities still surrounds me… aches on my body still bothers me… noise interrupts me… but there’s one thing within me that trying harder to wake me up. It wants to fight. It’s broken enough to make a real choice and win the “changes” that it deserved. My Lost and Broken, Heart.
I want to share all the things that God knows I can’t keep within me, things I want to reveal. I want to do it only to the people who don’t know me and one of them is you. Thank you for your time. I need someone who can read my heart through my blog. I don’t know if you can or will understand me but it doesn’t matter. I don’t even understand myself.
Although I’m a bit happy now because of one prayer granted and one decision I made I’m not yet satisfied of what that prayer granted brought to me. I was fully in the dark side before I made a decision, but things changed. I decided to be in between god’s and lucifer’s side. I chose life and death. Even though one of my prayer granted that I might choose to live, my suicidal mind will remain forever.
My name is Jane.
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The Better Version of Me
Strength Within Me
Monique Diplock's 3rd Challenge: "Write 5 Places in the World You Like or Want to Visit and Why?"