What a beautiful and blessed Sunday for me. I have a rainy and windy day but I remained Happy and satisfied though I feel it’s not. Someone trying to make me stick to the plan. I guess that’s God. I always suspected him to all the good things that happens and I suspected myself for bad things that happens. Today I’m blessed because I’m still trying to keep myself positive no matter what. I’m not blessed financially in fact, I was expecting a blessing for me to use it for my plans but I cancelled it and I have let it go for my brother-in-law’s sake. I don’t have any. I only have fighting spirit and hope.
I feel my headache again but it’s still okay. It’s been four days. Headache keeps coming back. Well I don’t like it and it’s actually a weight that slows me down. But I considered it as a challenge if I can keep going.
I downloaded some of my old favorite songs I don’t know if the other song is gospel but I considered them as gospel and I loved them all. They made me feel okay right now while I feel the pain in my head, it feeds the spirit within me. I’m currently enjoying it. I downloaded For All You’ve Done, Seasons of Love, Testify to Love, I Give Myself Away and the other version of My Sacrifice.
For All You’ve Done reminds me the times when I was in church with Father. I’m so in love with that song of praise. It reminds me also the times when I was praising him, singing for him. Seasons of Love by Rent is my favorite version. I like the blending and the quality of all the voices of the singers. My heart filled of joy because of that song. I Give Myself Away/Here I am to Worship is a beautiful and overwhelming song that really calming. My current favorite song is My Sacrifice by Creed I searched for other version of it so I could enjoy it more, and I found one. Theses simple things helps me a lot to my daily circumstances so I could write more and motivated to learn more. I still feel sometimes that life is unfair and challenging. I still feel pain, I still receive pain. Tears still fall but I’m used to it. I still fight though I don’t have the strength and the courage to do it. All I know I’m holding to something stronger than what I wasn’t prepared for.
I’m not Godly I didn’t come back to God’s side 100%. But I trust him 100%. I didn’t come back to his side because I know myself he don’t deserve someone like me. I will never claim the word “child of God” but only the “servant”. For I am nothing and deserve nothing to him.
In the future I want to do all the things I’ve never done and become someone I dreamed to be. I didn’t promised that I will be good forever but I promised I will do many things for all he have done for me.
My name is Jane.
My Top Blog Posts
The Better Version of Me
Strength Within Me
Monique Diplock's 3rd Challenge: "Write 5 Places in the World You Like or Want to Visit and Why?"