Dear LJC (Lord Jesus Christ),
As old times, first I want to thank you for my prayer granted. I don’t know if you mean it or you have a plan to that prayer to break me more because I realized who don’t give peace to those who disobey you. I know you want war and it’s always happen within me. I always say thank you even if sometimes it means “I hate you” but most of the times It means, “it’s okay, because I really deserve it.”
I don’t remember when was the last time I closed my eyes to pray. That’s why I wrote you a letter. I can’t give or show you faith. All I can show is my sinful soul.
Although I don’t know why you granted one of my prayer but thank you. Thank you for giving me what I need. It will help a lot. Well I hope so..
I wish that the “because you still love me” is still true… and will remain forever true… because frankly, no matter how I wanted to die or live I still want to trust you. No matter how powerful you are, and you hate my sin so much, you have your own way of making me feel that you love me. Sometimes my sins, my pains, my failures, anger, lost and loneliness makes me want to live alone but I feel love some of your ways that makes me go on and try again, though I’m tired trying.
Whatever I feel now might change and I can let go myself from life to death. I know you will never stop me because you gave me freedom.
“Sometimes we’re friends and sometimes we’re enemy.”
My name is Jane.
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