I have an amazing thoughts today. Those thoughts can build me up to the better version of me. Thoughts from God, about God and for God. Now I realized something about God. I think I know him better now. God is a wise God. I guess he don’t like quick process he want a slow and long process of everything. He is powerful he can create the world in a glimpse but he didn’t because he is passionate and wise creator. Now I understand why God create everything in 6days. It’s like a work of art, like a painting, artists spend lots of times until they finish what they wanted to create. Now I’m learning God’s processing about things.
One of the Facts about me, I’m not patience. So usually I fall easily and sometimes I came to the point where I blame it all to God but I know within me that I don’t have any rights to complain.
I want to start again. But I don’t want to start alone. I don’t want to start in the way that God want me to because I can’t do that yet. I want to trust him more. I wanna live with him. I want to put myself under his microscope. I want to be in his process. Now that I understand him better than before I can say that yesterday I was down but today I’m up again. About the things that I’ve been asking him I will patiently wait for it.
Am I ready to face everything?
God knows I can’t but I will face them with him no matter what. I’m currently facing a problem that drains me a bit but it can heal. All I’m gonna need is stay positive and take care and love myself then everything’s gonna be okay.
What about the failure?
It’s part of God’s Process. I consider things as a failure I didn’t get the things that I wanted in time. It’s my fault. I should’ve trusted him better.
What about the pain?
I get hurt because I lose. I get hurt because I loved the wrongs and rights for wrong people or things. I get hurt because of myself. I get hurt because I let anyone or anything to destroy me.
What I’m gonna change?
Everything. First, my Mindset. Second, my dreams and plans and so forth. While I’m changing myself my desire is to use my knowledge to help someone else.
What name can I give to myself now?
I want my very own and original code name and that is “Janera” no more additional name to put.
What’s my theme song for today?
My current favorite song is My Sacrifice by Creed. This song has very great contribution of energy to me today. I like the lyrics of this song says, “When you are with me, I’m Free, I’m Careless…” and “We’ve seen our shares of ups and downs oh how quickly life can turn around, in an instant… it’s feels so good to reunited with yourself and within your mind… lets find peace there…” what an amazing song.
Which side am I in?
I choose God side. I have nothing to offer, I can’t be a holy, I am sure I’m not gonna be perfect or clean or whatever but I choose him, Period.
What’s the new plan?
I will live. I’m gonna face the world with new version of me. I’m gonna be successful because I’m free now. That’s final.
Life is hard all people know that. I am so weak, I’m a suicidal, my heart is so fragile, my mind always changes but not anymore I will stick to my new plan.
All the instrument that I asked for so many times and for so long are still not in my hands it’s still far away from me and that’s alright I mean that’s good because I’m gonna work hard for it with the help of God. I will stay this way. I don’t want to be a quitter again. I’ll be patience from now on, I’ll trust God more from now on. I’m not gonna lose again. Now I will accept failure from God only, not from myself or from the world anymore.
I want to take this opportunity to thanks all the people that I don’t know in person and don’t know me also but showed me respect, love and care. Helped me and guided me. I want you all to be blessed. I can’t mention all your names but God knows who you are.
My name is Jane.
My Top Blog Posts
The Better Version of Me
Strength Within Me
Monique Diplock's 3rd Challenge: "Write 5 Places in the World You Like or Want to Visit and Why?"